As a child I yearned to keep a horse to posses a horse and was obsessed by everything related to this creature to the point of taking on its spirit. Never was this yearning realized in actuality. I started making art about this subject as early as age five as a means to cultivate this desire. It was as if I believed a horse would magically materialize in my suburban backyard from performing this act. For most of my life this goal has been put aside for one reason or another. Since childhood I have felt a kinship with horses with a sense of compassion for their nature: their joy, curiosity, their fear, sorrow: their loss of spirit or soul, due to mans treatment. Having never rode horses as a child or had any contact; save for a few glimpses from a car window or petting zoo, this creature has remained aloof. As the years have gone by embarrassment relocated emulation to be a horse on the outside to the inside.
Looking back on my work I have noticed that at least every five years the horse has been included in or a main focus as subject. For this exhibition I decided to indulge my desire to possess this animal, researching horses: horse sense, handling, grooming and care, owning, learning to ride, etc. A Standard Saddlebred named Ace is my current teacher in the schools of self- determination, discipline, and respect for my teacher as well as myself. Ultimately this has led to a self-reckoning that has reconnected my sense of compassion and vulnerability.
This body of work was indeed to be about the horse solely, by portraying its behavior from the animal’s point of view. In doing so, human nature crept in: pretensions, apprehensions, anxiety, as well as self-doubt all surrounded the work. The original intention to represent this subject changed in part to more of an anthropomorphic view, realizing I was using this animal as metaphor for people in my life as well as myself (also casting this subject in roles significant of recent events).
The horse in the bedroom. is inspired by my bedroom from childhood. Universally it is to symbolize a girl child’s room that has fallen head over heels in love with horses. My Breyer horse collection is in tact on the shelves of the hutch along with my childhood books and my modified rocking chair/horse. Also in the bedroom is work made through the years to include a more recent past. The horse in the bedroom. is a reflection on my life, about making connections of present and past in order to order my future.